First, train yourself to get suspicious every time you see simplicity. Any claim that the root of a problem is simple should be treated the same as a claim that the root of a problem is Bigfoot. Simplicity and Bigfoot are found in the real world with about the same frequency. So reject binary thinking of “good vs. bad” or “us vs. them.” Know problems cannot be solved with clever slogans and over-simplified step-by-step programs. You can do that by following these simple steps. We like to call this plan the T.R.Y. plan: First, TOTAL MORON. That is, accept the fact THAT YOU ARE ONE. We all are. That really annoying person you know, the one who’s always spouting bullshit, the person who always thinks they’re right? Well, the odds are that for somebody else, you’re that person. So take the amount you think you know, reduce it by 99.999%, and then you’ll have an idea of how much you actually know regarding things outside your Monkeysphere. Second, UNDERSTAND that there are no Supermonkeys. Just monkeys. Those guys on TV you see, giving the inspirational seminars, teaching you how to reach your potential and become rich and successful like them? You know how they made their money? By giving seminars. For the most part, the only thing they do well is convince others they do everything well. No, the universal moron principal established in No. 1 above applies here, too. Don’t pretend politicians are somehow supposed to be immune to all the backhanded fuckery we all do in our daily lives and don’t laugh and point when the preacher gets caught on video snorting cocaine off a prostitute’s ass. A good exercise is to picture your hero—whoever it is—passed out on his lawn, naked from the waist down. The odds are it’s happened at some point. Even Gandhi may have had hotel rooms and dead hookers in his past. And don’t even think about ignoring advice from a moral teacher just because the source enjoys the ol’ Colombian Nose Candy from time to time. We’re all members of varying species of hypocrite (or did you tell them at the job interview that you once called in sick to spend a day leveling up on World of Warcraft?) Don’t use your heroes’ vices as an excuse to let yours run wild. And finally, DON’T LET ANYBODY simplify it for you. The world cannot be made simple. Anyone who tries to paint a picture of the world in basic comic book colors is most likely trying to use you as a pawn. So just remember: T-R-Y. Go forth and do likewise, gents. Copies of our book are available in the lobby. from; http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere_p1.html
